Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Libidinous Celibacy

Celibacy has been in the news lately, and I do not just imply the pious form of celibacy. I’m talking grown females and guys selecting celibacy as a type of their sexual self-expression. Yes, that’s ideal: Celibacy can be a kind of sexual self-expression - it is actually achievable to become celibate with no getting chaste. (Are you able to say masturbation boys and girls?)

I'm an advocate of your practice of libidinous celibacy. Initially the juxtaposition of these two words would seem to become paradoxical, but I know from individual knowledge that such just isn't the case. A libidinous person might be somebody who has lustful thoughts or is otherwise preoccupied using the drives in the libido…without necessarily acting upon them with a partner.

Few adults can abstain from sexual intercourse (ie, be celibate) and not expertise rising frustration in the sublimation of such a primitive and instinctual biological drive. As time passes, this biological drive manifests as a psychological one particular at the same time, along with the mind becomes preoccupied with libidinous thoughts. Hence, the term libidinous celibacy is not an oxymoron, but an apothegm.

About 5 years ago I identified myself newly single. Newly single, and with more than a number of people interested in filling the position vacated by my unlamented lover. A lot of, the truth is, that I was a bit overwhelmed. Given that it had been over a decade because I’d been with out a companion or maybe a couple of, I decided to discover my new singleton status by boldly picking to stay celibate for 6 months.

I think a few of my mates had bets on how lengthy I’d last, and I know every certainly one of them bet I’d quit and go boink someone long prior to my time was up. What nobody anticipated even though, was that I’d extend it by 3 more months - which can be what I did. I identified that, after 6 months of carrying on a torrid love-affair with myself, I wasn’t ready to share. I wanted to maintain me all to myself :)

I dated actively, thoughts you, and had some incredibly hot make-out / frottage sessions, but the only person I had actual sex with was myself. And my toys. Mustn’t forget them! I had my hitachi magic wand technique (the frugal girl’s sybian at 10% the price), my waterproof rabbit (the perfect bath-time companion), my ben wa balls (always put a smile on my face at the gym), and I can not overlook my Chocolate Dream dildo, which created me come so hard I pulled a muscle in my back the first time I made use of it. Whee! With these, along with a micro-fleece electric throw, I needed neither man, nor woman, nor a cat (which my ex took with her) to place a smile on my face each and every night.

Searching back, I know it was excellent for me to become unattached and celibate to get a alter, great for me to take all that power that had been tied up in sex and relationships and put it to more productive use elsewhere. I was incredibly delighted. My well being was terrific. Devoid of a person at home to distract me, I took the time for you to create a number of my other talents, and with sex off the table, I learned what intimacy and connection definitely have been. I learned that, as a woman, I didn’t must be with somebody to be able to be a person. And I also learned that possessing a love-affair with myself meant that 1 doesn’t have to be a lonely quantity. Practicing libidinous celibacy thrilled me for the bone!

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